<![CDATA[Real Life Struggles/Support/Vent]]>I have two purposes for creating this thread. I wanted to be able to have a thread where people can speak of their mental and emotional health in a productive manner. I don’t intend this to operate in some kind of function where the forum replaces actual therapy. As it’s been stated many other times on the internet, “X isn’t your therapist.”

At the same time, there should still be a place where you can speak of these things, even if you’re just looking for a way to express them, be it a rant or simply hoping someone will listen.

My other reason for creating this is because I want to try put some kind of closure to my own struggle, something that I’m very cognizant with that I struggle with, even now. I haven’t really written about it, or spoken much about it, beyond a few select people. I value my privacy, I value that I’m just a name here, as I have little desire for people online to actually know me as a person. It’s a boundary I have pointedly put in place. There are of course exceptions to this and I admit to have friendships online, but those are very few simply because of who I am.

–

The following story is about the person that I lost in my life. The names have been changed to protect mine and their real life identities as well preserve their privacy.

I didn’t know Greg at first. Not really. A friend of a friend of a friend of my brother’s, and they never really interacted. Greg was a junior in high school when my brother was senior. My brother is not very relevant to this story, beyond him being present in my first interactions with Greg. It wasn’t until later that I had that I had met him when I was younger, in Cub Scouts while he was a scout leader.

When my brother entered the military in mid-90s, I was more or less on my own to two working parents, but my brother and I were never what you’d call close, as he was almost ten years older than me. And for the next number of years, that’s generally how it was. It wasn’t until I was around 16 or so that I ran into Greg again, who was in mid-20s now. I admit, he had a certain charisma that made able to talk to just about anyone. Always jolly and forthcoming, while also extremely intelligent.

Those first few years were honestly some of the best in my memory, especially during teenage years where little to nothing makes a lot of sense. For the first time in a long time, I felt as if I had a real older brother, who helped me figure out of things out. Stuff about myself, about life, about survival. He got me involved in so many things, my love of creative writing, and a number of other hobbies I have that would be categorized as ‘nerdy’. How to depend on yourself while also not treating yourself as an island. It wasn’t until years later that I realized that Greg, for all of his wisdom and intelligence, was also something of a conspiracy theorist, though not nearly how we associate that term these days. Generally weird stuff, not insane shit we see today when someone brings up the phrase. Simpler times back then. It wouldn’t be wrong to call him a kind of socio-anarchist. And me, by this point being young and impressionable 20-something that I was, idolized everything he said, absorbed just about every bit of information he was willing to give, even if I didn’t wholly ascribe to his particular political beliefs, which I always thought was more slight left-of-center.

It around this time that I learned that he did have something of a vengeful streak. I learned that he came up from a pretty broken home, having to literally fight for a lot of things he had now. A decent job, a home, education, etc. And I had watched personally the kind of hardships that life would throw at him. It made me wonder who he had angered that gave him such consistent bad luck. If I hadn’t seen some of these events first-hand, I likely wouldn’t of believed his stories. I realize now that behind the smile, was a jaded and perhaps bitter man. As one of things I can still recall that he told me, over and over, something I try very hard to block out is “You don’t beat someone just to beat them. You beat them so bad that they fear you. That they will never bother you again. Because they will do the exact same thing to you, given the opportunity. Don’t give anyone an inch.” At that point in my life, I believed that, wholly. Sometimes, I think I still do. I think that’s partially why I still pick fights online with things that perceive as injustices.

Greg thought this way because I later discovered, through him telling me that, “Generally, most people are cowards. They’re afraid of face-to-face confrontation. Like that saying that everyone is a badass until they get punched in the face.” There is a certain toxicity in those statements that I see now, but that I didn’t then. This is what initially started the separation between us.

As the years passed, I started to notice this more and more. At times I would try to put him on the spot about it, asking if that outlook was really necessary, to which he would generally make some statement that "Everyone is a threat until they prove otherwise, and even then, never tell them everything." I asked him if that included me, and he shrugged, giving some kind of non-committal comment that “Everyone is capable of betraying you. You should be ready for that.”

I can recall the amount of self-reflection I was doing after that. I was trying to come to terms with so much of the knowledge I had learned from him, the wisdom he had given me. The books and philosophies that he had introduced me to. Hobbies I had come to love. The help, both emotionally, mentally, and financially, he had done for me. I was trying to put that next to the person that either he had been slowly turning into that I didn’t notice until that point. Or if he had always been that way, and his commentary about ‘not trusting people’ was some kind mea culpa or a wink and a nudge about some joke that I was only just now figuring out the punchline.

It was around 2014 that I started to notice the undertone of racist commentary that he was starting to make. At first it was jokes, which I tried shrugging off. And then he started to make some kind of socio-political commentary about things that I believed weren’t exactly fair to say, that he’s applying specific instances in way that generalized. There were a few arguments on his porch about, and I still remember how the cigarette I had been smoking had been so vividly pointed in his face. I remember being so conflicted, utterly uncomfortable with the things that I felt he was trying to say but wasn’t fully willing to commit to saying outright. I was torn, between the things I believed in or my loyalty to one of the few people in my life that I thought gave more than a damn about me. Through my broken relationships and troubles(at the time)with my parents, there was Greg. When I was homeless, it was Greg that took me in. But this had been a step too far for me, and I couldn’t agree with this.

We didn’t talk for years after this blow-out. And the times we did, it was always so tense, like people walking on broken glass while trying to have a conversation. The racist comments he had said and the conviction behind them were like a very large elephant in a very small room, we both tried to act like it wasn’t there. But it wasn’t the same, and it felt more like we were going through the motions. How you been. How’s your family. How’s your job. It was very little more than that. It wasn’t the same anymore. And never in person.

It ate me, and there were times I wanted to say something, try to mend things with Greg. Build bridges, bury whatever hatchet there may of been. And I could tell, or maybe I felt that he wanted to apologize to me. But neither of us said anything, and the conversations became more and more sparse. People move away, relationships and friendships change, people change. I know that, but there was always this sense of loss that never truly left the back of my mind. I wanted my brother back, I wanted it to go back to how it used to be. But it won’t. And I was too afraid to fail at trying to fix his views. when I knew, deep down, that you can’t fix people, they can only fix themselves.

Our last conversation was two months ago. Greg, somehow, found out about my engagement to my fiancé. He texted me, saying his congratulations. I said thank you. He asked me when the wedding is, I said in the fall. What I didn’t tell him, what I wanted to tell him, is invite him. I hadn’t. I had intentionally hadn’t. I didn’t want to risk opening any kind of wounds on that day. So he never got a save the date. And I would back and forth mentally on wanting to invite him. I had never come to answer before two weeks ago finding out that he passed away due to heart complications. Complications that I didn’t even know about. That he hadn’t told me about.

There was so much I wanted to tell him. I wanted to reach out, I wanted to apologize for being so distant the last five years. I wanted to try and make things better between us. I wanted to thank him for everything he had done for me, how he had helped shape me into the person I am now. That he had been, always had been, more of an actual older brother to me than my real one. That I’m fairly certain he saved me from suicide a number of times in my life. To try and juxtapose that next to the person that he had become, it tears at me. It still does. I think it will for a very long time. I just know that when I look back at the entire thing, the almost two decade long friendship, there are a lot of complicated and complex feelings going on. Mourn the person that was, not what they ended up being maybe.

So this is the weight that I now carry. The regret of not saying something when I should’ve. That I will never know how it could’ve been between us. I have to live with that regret. So that’s why, when I started to post on this forum, that implore you, if you take any kind of lesson away from this, do not leave things unsaid. Do not wonder ‘what if’. Because you may run out of time, you may not have that chance. And you will have to live with the weight of things left unsaid. Because you’re going to carry that weight.

In the time since, I have found it very difficult to RP on a mush. There is simply nothing there. Little drive. I would like to go back to Arx characters. Go back to my characters on my own game. To try and find some kind of inspiration again. But nothing comes to me. I have hope that, in time, it will return. The drive to be creative and contribute to a larger whole. I get ideas though, inklings. Ideas that I think would be neat. How to make a character feel special to the larger whole. To help run stories for people. I don’t know when, but I know that I can’t say it’ll never happen. Maybe next week, maybe next month. It’s frustrating that I don’t know when

So, that’s the story. I wanted to bring closure to this, and because I wanted to tell the story to the void on the internet. I’m not me, I don’t feel like me. I feel like someone else. I feel like I make jokes and commentary because it’s better than wallowing. Like I’ve become the personification of Hide-The-Pain-Harold.

Before anyone asks, yes, I have a support structure. I have my therapist. Who said that writing this all down wasn’t a terrible idea, to try and get some of those feelings out, to stop letting them build up. Mostly so I don’t have another meltdown and post something that I’ll end up regretting because I wasn’t in the right frame of mind and I wanted to seek out vengeance on someone. Collateral damage.

Thanks for listening, and I hope this gives others the courage or perhaps safety of wanting to post their own struggles here. Because I do think a thread like this should exist, but I didn’t want to hog it all for myself.

Edited to cut some stuff out that I thought was too personal.

]]>https://brandmu.day/topic/61/real-life-struggles-support-ventRSS for NodeSat, 04 Apr 2026 09:30:43 GMTThu, 19 May 2022 14:09:44 GMT60<![CDATA[Reply to Real Life Struggles/Support/Vent on Sat, 14 Feb 2026 21:30:23 GMT]]>I got my only accusation of racism as a school counselor over schedule changes, and upon investigation, realized where it came from. I was denying schedule changes according to the written policy, but certain students (mostly wealthy and white) appealed over my head to a vice principal who made the schedule changes they requested, so it very much looked like some students were receiving favorable treatment (which they were, just not from me).

Unfortunately, there was no denying that the school and district had issues with systemic racism, which made it understandable that parents would become frustrated.

]]>https://brandmu.day/post/29464https://brandmu.day/post/29464Sat, 14 Feb 2026 21:30:23 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Real Life Struggles/Support/Vent on Sat, 14 Feb 2026 07:07:54 GMT]]>@Wuff said in Real Life Struggles/Support/Vent:

@junipersky said in Real Life Struggles/Support/Vent:

One of my student’s parents called me racist multiple times last night in the conference.

It wasn’t even one of the crazy parents. It was a perfectly nice one. So it came out of left field.

We’re meeting tomorrow with the principal as interpreter, not a district one, or worse with apps because the translator didn’t show up, and I’m hoping we can figure things out, but I also just have this pit of dread in my stomach.

Hopefully it’s put down as a learning moment for you as a teacher. Finding out you’ve been messing up something after the fact can be stressful as all hell. But if others knew and didn’t help correct mistakes, They’re the assholes.

As a former secondary school teacher (we don’t do middle school out here), though in a different country, I can also see such accusations being entirely baseless or based on misunderstanding/misreporting. Especially if you’re teaching something to do with history, or even English grammar.

]]>https://brandmu.day/post/29462https://brandmu.day/post/29462Sat, 14 Feb 2026 07:07:54 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Real Life Struggles/Support/Vent on Sat, 14 Feb 2026 03:16:56 GMT]]>@Wuff

We still don’t fully understand why she said racist multiple times, but we were able to meet and talk about her kid and his progress so I’m going to call it a win?

]]>https://brandmu.day/post/29461https://brandmu.day/post/29461Sat, 14 Feb 2026 03:16:56 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Real Life Struggles/Support/Vent on Thu, 12 Feb 2026 03:29:28 GMT]]>@junipersky said in Real Life Struggles/Support/Vent:

One of my student’s parents called me racist multiple times last night in the conference.

It wasn’t even one of the crazy parents. It was a perfectly nice one. So it came out of left field.

We’re meeting tomorrow with the principal as interpreter, not a district one, or worse with apps because the translator didn’t show up, and I’m hoping we can figure things out, but I also just have this pit of dread in my stomach.

Hopefully it’s put down as a learning moment for you as a teacher. Finding out you’ve been messing up something after the fact can be stressful as all hell. But if others knew and didn’t help correct mistakes, They’re the assholes.

]]>https://brandmu.day/post/29455https://brandmu.day/post/29455Thu, 12 Feb 2026 03:29:28 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Real Life Struggles/Support/Vent on Thu, 12 Feb 2026 01:50:03 GMT]]>One of my student’s parents called me racist multiple times last night in the conference.

It wasn’t even one of the crazy parents. It was a perfectly nice one. So it came out of left field.

We’re meeting tomorrow with the principal as interpreter, not a district one, or worse with apps because the translator didn’t show up, and I’m hoping we can figure things out, but I also just have this pit of dread in my stomach.

]]>https://brandmu.day/post/29454https://brandmu.day/post/29454Thu, 12 Feb 2026 01:50:03 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Real Life Struggles/Support/Vent on Thu, 12 Feb 2026 00:45:09 GMT]]>Having to pay out of pocket for laser cataract surgery. I clear my credit card debt to cover it. But the specialist wants payment via direct debit. Which my credit account does not do.

a woman with blue hair is holding a pink object in her hand .

]]>https://brandmu.day/post/29452https://brandmu.day/post/29452Thu, 12 Feb 2026 00:45:09 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Real Life Struggles/Support/Vent on Fri, 02 Jan 2026 16:20:18 GMT]]>My work informed me today that they figured out how to deal with one of our major issues at work, and in doing so, are throwing work/life balance in the trash.

]]>https://brandmu.day/post/29195https://brandmu.day/post/29195Fri, 02 Jan 2026 16:20:18 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Real Life Struggles/Support/Vent on Fri, 31 Oct 2025 07:35:24 GMT]]>@junipersky I am glad you’re finally through. Appeals very rarely do anything in these cases.

]]>https://brandmu.day/post/28452https://brandmu.day/post/28452Fri, 31 Oct 2025 07:35:24 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Real Life Struggles/Support/Vent on Wed, 29 Oct 2025 17:29:22 GMT]]>Yeah, it went the way we were hoping. She has said goodbye to her parents until she is after 18 (or they can prove to us they are clean and stable and that relationship can be reopened therapudicly).

Now it is a long journey of waiting for them to decided any appeals and/or the judge closes the books completely and clears them for adoption.

It is a lot of mixed emotions. I’m so happy to have her away from the confusion of visits that don’t go well. I’m so sad she can’t go back to healthy parents though. That is the purpose of foster care and it wasn’t achieved this time.

]]>https://brandmu.day/post/28448https://brandmu.day/post/28448Wed, 29 Oct 2025 17:29:22 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Real Life Struggles/Support/Vent on Mon, 20 Oct 2025 15:31:08 GMT]]>When you make a bigger payment on a credit card debt, but it doesn’t count as making the monthly payment because it cleared an hour before the system ticked over. And you have to make the real payment still as a result.

a close up of a toilet bowl with water running out of it .

]]>https://brandmu.day/post/28350https://brandmu.day/post/28350Mon, 20 Oct 2025 15:31:08 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Real Life Struggles/Support/Vent on Sun, 19 Oct 2025 03:46:23 GMT]]>@dvoraen Even if it is in their favor, it’s still a day that is deeply mixed because of the pain and trauma that is associated with it. Every adoption is a broken family, even if it’s in the best interest of the child. There is no adoptee without adoption trauma, and the same goes for natural parents, even those who voluntarily gave up their parental rights. It absolutely is a special day for their family, and also it is one that likely comes with other emotions as well.

]]>https://brandmu.day/post/28338https://brandmu.day/post/28338Sun, 19 Oct 2025 03:46:23 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Real Life Struggles/Support/Vent on Fri, 17 Oct 2025 18:36:48 GMT]]>@junipersky Just so I am clear, because my brain wants to be THAT WAY, today, it was in your favor? If so…

a woman in a red dress is reading a newspaper and laughing

]]>https://brandmu.day/post/28317https://brandmu.day/post/28317Fri, 17 Oct 2025 18:36:48 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Real Life Struggles/Support/Vent on Thu, 16 Oct 2025 01:27:25 GMT]]>We got a verdict.

Termination of parental rights.

We tell the child Friday, and goodbye visit is the 24th.

I’m slowly trying to build the girl up to it by dropping hints like “Caseworker doesn’t want to see us at home.”

“Caseworker wants me to come home for the visit this time so both of us are there.” (Often just one of us is home for them because the other is at work.)

“It feels like this visit is going to be different.”

“I can’t wait for you to come to my middle school!!”

]]>https://brandmu.day/post/28302https://brandmu.day/post/28302Thu, 16 Oct 2025 01:27:25 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Real Life Struggles/Support/Vent on Thu, 09 Oct 2025 16:10:44 GMT]]>@Hobbie This sounds a lot like what my friend’s ex said about him…

]]>https://brandmu.day/post/28187https://brandmu.day/post/28187Thu, 09 Oct 2025 16:10:44 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Real Life Struggles/Support/Vent on Wed, 08 Oct 2025 05:25:32 GMT]]>@Aria Small update here, the angel cat I’ve been speaking about got into a territorial dispute on my driveway at 2AM today that woke my wife and I up. With it being so early in the morning and noting the pattern of activity, I can now solidly argue that the cat has been abandoned. I’m going to be looking into trapping her for her own good.

]]>https://brandmu.day/post/28158https://brandmu.day/post/28158Wed, 08 Oct 2025 05:25:32 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Real Life Struggles/Support/Vent on Wed, 08 Oct 2025 00:11:56 GMT]]>@Hobbie yeah that sounds like a nightmare! There’s only so much you can do as a friend, and I think just about everyone would struggle having to deal with that, especially when it is a consistent pattern. Hopefully this will relieve a lot od stress in your life. I hope cutting out people who dont add much to your life but that level of stress ahd disappointment gives you a little more peace!

]]>https://brandmu.day/post/28151https://brandmu.day/post/28151Wed, 08 Oct 2025 00:11:56 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Real Life Struggles/Support/Vent on Tue, 07 Oct 2025 23:18:53 GMT]]>@mietze First off, thank you for responding like this. I appreciate a differing opinion because I have a hard time assessing a situation from beyond my own viewpoint.

These are the friends where we’ve gone against our gut, given it another five goes, and been optimistic about the future. This, however, is the first time we’ve spent an extended period with them and their kids and it has been very telling.

There were a lot of things I didn’t get into in the last post, it would have been too much and it would have been a wall of text that’s just whinging. There will be some more details below.

@mietze said in Real Life Struggles/Support/Vent:

But yeah, there are a handful of folks where I have been, “You know, I enjoy doing X Y, or Z with you but I think we should do it without the kids,” too.

This is perhaps the core of the whole thing. Sometimes it is better to do things without the kids, but when the kids are there, it is unfair/dangerous to act like they are not. Approximately 90% of the holiday, the mother of those children was interrogating my wife about something or other while the father was on TikTok watching memes. This happened at the holiday house, at kid-friendly events, when we were out to eat, etc etc. It was happening while their baby was hanging out of a high chair held in only by their neck. It was happening in a car park while their oldest kid was walking into traffic. These are the aforementioned “saved from serious harm” incidents that I remember.

Part of my issue is that I consider parenting a 24/7 task, so I cannot turn off my instincts. It doesn’t help my own wellbeing much, but it does mean I’m aware of what the kids are up to even if I’m not actively watching them. To have children around who are visibly not having their emotional, physical, or safety needs met triggers extreme caution in me.

The number of times I turned and found myself next to their infant with them nowhere nearby was approaching double digits. One of those times, they were fifteen metres away arguing over a frozen drink they were going to buy for themselves.

Finally, I will never forgive a parent that scoffs and walks away when their child asks for a kiss and cuddle good-night.

I would never consider them aunty or uncle to my children. After this trip I wouldn’t allow them within fifty metres of my children without me being there.

]]>https://brandmu.day/post/28149https://brandmu.day/post/28149Tue, 07 Oct 2025 23:18:53 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Real Life Struggles/Support/Vent on Tue, 07 Oct 2025 18:37:05 GMT]]>@junipersky unfortunately this is the nature of the whole system. It’s incredibly slow and inefficient because trying to handle the intimate details of family life through an adversarial process is really stupid. We just don’t know what else to do so we try to force square pegs through round holes.

]]>https://brandmu.day/post/28120https://brandmu.day/post/28120Tue, 07 Oct 2025 18:37:05 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Real Life Struggles/Support/Vent on Tue, 07 Oct 2025 15:19:34 GMT]]>@Hobbie I’ve managed to maintain adult friendships with people whose parenting choices wouldn’t be mine, but very importantly, it’s because we avoid long together times when the kids are involved. Most of the time we’ve had the elephant in the room discussion soon after the precipitating event, which has always been interesting (and one of the reasons why we were able to maintain the friendship). I personally have never regretted keeping a friendship in this manner (unless we couldn’t have that discussion, sans kids, but all of those times the friendship naturally fizzled).

I’m not going to say don’t go against your gut, but it might be worth thinking for a bit if you are willing to give the friendship a chance, chalk this up to not being a good vacation fit because they were more on edge with friends sharing a space (it happens), something’s going on between them that you don’t know about (it happens), or somesuch.

I’ve definitely had to draw boundaries with some friends who are also parents around what I will and won’t do with their kids at my house (or theirs) and the rules of engagement/courtesy at mine too (Like an agreement we all put the phones away/in phone jail, what areas are off limits, ect). I tend to be the more vigilant person at gatherings too just because I slip into early childhood educator mode, and I think some people naturally default to it. It definitely makes me thankful for the majority of friends in my life that are solid “aunties and uncles” to my kids, even if our day to day parenting styles aren’t in total alignment, I know they have oversight and are vigilant to keep everyone safe.

But yeah, there are a handful of folks where I have been, “You know, I enjoy doing X Y, or Z with you but I think we should do it without the kids,” too.

That being said i am sorry you are even having to consider this and that the vacation was ruined. It really sucks when people disappoint you like this. And it is totally better to just let them go sometimes too!

]]>https://brandmu.day/post/28091https://brandmu.day/post/28091Tue, 07 Oct 2025 15:19:34 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Real Life Struggles/Support/Vent on Tue, 07 Oct 2025 11:59:59 GMT]]>We recently went away on a trip for an extended long weekend with some close family friends of ours.

For four days, myself, my wife, and my kids (!) were used and abused for free daycare and hospitality by these “friends” that were more interested in TikTok and yelling at each other than the basic responsibilities of parenting. They contributed nothing to the holiday whilst actively-if-ignorantly sabotaging any activity we tried to do as a group, even something as simple as making dinner.

They didn’t exchange a word with their eldest son (who’s four) beyond telling him off for misbehaving when he’s clearly acting out for any sort of attention, and happily ignored their youngest (who’s not even one) as he pulled small coffee tables on himself, fell half-way out of his high chair, or climbed half-way up the stairs with no supervision. I was told later by my wife that I’d saved each of their kids from some form of serious injury at least once, something which didn’t occur to me at all during the trip.

One of those four days, and the one that showcased their worst behaviour, was my birthday.

This is… I mean, this is simple shit. Keep an eye on your kids, don’t shut them out or ignore them, maybe think beyond your immediate gratification. I get it! I get that it’s hard! I get that parenting takes everything out of you! I’ve been there, I still am there! But at one point late on my birthday when I was carting their baby down from the stairs for the fourth time that hour I’d had enough and I was one hair away from just saying get off your fucking phone.

There is at least one positive from all this though. It’s completely dismissed all the worries I have of being an inadequate dad. For now. It’ll be back lol.

Suffice it to say there’s agreement between my wife and I that we’re terminating this near-decade of friendship immediately. My heart goes out to their kids, but I’m ashamed to see this from people I once called friends.

]]>https://brandmu.day/post/28078https://brandmu.day/post/28078Tue, 07 Oct 2025 11:59:59 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Real Life Struggles/Support/Vent on Sun, 05 Oct 2025 17:08:57 GMT]]>@sao

I think about this reply and insane amount for a forum post.

Because, see, even though we started the trial in April, added days in June, then again July, and had witten closing submitted the 13th of August… we still are sitting in limbo.

Today is October 5th. I have no doubt that we will hit 60 days in this case of the Judge working on her decision.

In that time the department fired the company contracted with for mom visits because they allowed mom to question the girls about a sexual disclosure from the youngest. Now they are providing visits on a shoestring basis - when the director of family time/caseworker and another worker with a therapudic license. It was suppose to be a stopgap for a week or two. We are moving into visit 8 with this.

The youngest has lost her foster placement and been moved.

Three of the 4 kids have had birthdays.

Bio-mom has gotten and lost 3 jobs.

Eldest foster mom is on FMLA from stress (not only the case, but after the Evergreen shooting a kid brought a gun to the school she is a nurse at and the administration didn’t act promptly.)

I feel like nothing will ever change, and since we know parents will appeal I can realistically see it just… continuing.

]]>https://brandmu.day/post/27980https://brandmu.day/post/27980Sun, 05 Oct 2025 17:08:57 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Real Life Struggles/Support/Vent on Mon, 22 Sep 2025 01:31:24 GMT]]>@Hobbie said in Real Life Struggles/Support/Vent:

Couple things today.

Firstly, to everyone I RPed with before getting on the ADHD meds (which is everyone I’ve ever RPed with), holy crap I am sorry you had to deal with someone so horrifically erratic and scatterbrained. I’m currently on the fifth and thank god final day of my psychiatrist-advised no-medication break so the meds don’t lose efficacy and it’s absolute torture for me, the wife, the kids, the wife, the dog, and especially me, and definitely the wife. I understand now why the psychologist who did my initial assessment said “if you weren’t a genius, you’d be completely crippled”. I thought he was joking!

Secondly, perhaps more pressing because the above nonsense ends tomorrow, the cat situation.

You know the one.

230f1f24-b7fd-42cb-960d-3390013b2469-image.png

This is the mother of next door’s litter of cats and has always loved my family. I found her sitting in the regional park across the road from my house. She’s always been very friendly and came hopping over the road when I made a single pspsps. We had lots of head and chin rubs, plenty of belly showing, and we even played with a twig in the grass. She’s a wonderful and affectionate little cat.

Once again:

  • Unsure if desexed/registered/microchipped. Gonna assume finally desexed because she’s not pregnant.
  • No collar (illegal in my local council).
  • Roaming in a national park (extremely fucking illegal in my local council).

This happened at 11:30PM.

11:30PM.

Unfortunately, limited by a keyboard as I am, I can’t unleash my frothing annoyance appropriately at what I’ve dealt with. It’s the middle of the night and this friendly little girl is at the mercy of snakes, spiders, kangaroos, emus, and especially snakes all alone. Next door’s lights were on so maybe they took her back inside later I don’t fucking know!

I cannot stress enough how many dangerous snakes we get here. It’s so bad that last time I played Pokemon GO it kept spawning Ekans and I’m like “this tracks”.

I’m starting to think this is no longer a question of legality. Seeing a roaming cat at 11:30PM with at least two laws broken, I definitely have moral grounds to catch her (and maybe her kids) and maybe I’ve got legal grounds as well. At what point is it animal neglect? I don’t know but emotion keeps winning out over logic and I’m going crazy every time I see this colony-in-the-making.

Look, as someone who has inadvertently become (one of) my neighborhood’s resident crazy cat ladies who just ends up bringing in whatever little flea-bitten, three-legged, one-eyed, mangy trash goblin who happens to rub up on my ankles…

I strongly advocate for calling whatever your country’s version of animal humane officers are because fuck your neighbors in their stupid fucking faces.

]]>https://brandmu.day/post/27545https://brandmu.day/post/27545Mon, 22 Sep 2025 01:31:24 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Real Life Struggles/Support/Vent on Mon, 22 Sep 2025 00:43:16 GMT]]>Couple things today.

Firstly, to everyone I RPed with before getting on the ADHD meds (which is everyone I’ve ever RPed with), holy crap I am sorry you had to deal with someone so horrifically erratic and scatterbrained. I’m currently on the fifth and thank god final day of my psychiatrist-advised no-medication break so the meds don’t lose efficacy and it’s absolute torture for me, the wife, the kids, the wife, the dog, and especially me, and definitely the wife. I understand now why the psychologist who did my initial assessment said “if you weren’t a genius, you’d be completely crippled”. I thought he was joking!

Secondly, perhaps more pressing because the above nonsense ends tomorrow, the cat situation.

You know the one.

230f1f24-b7fd-42cb-960d-3390013b2469-image.png

This is the mother of next door’s litter of cats and has always loved my family. I found her sitting in the regional park across the road from my house. She’s always been very friendly and came hopping over the road when I made a single pspsps. We had lots of head and chin rubs, plenty of belly showing, and we even played with a twig in the grass. She’s a wonderful and affectionate little cat.

Once again:

  • Unsure if desexed/registered/microchipped. Gonna assume finally desexed because she’s not pregnant.
  • No collar (illegal in my local council).
  • Roaming in a national park (extremely fucking illegal in my local council).

This happened at 11:30PM.

11:30PM.

Unfortunately, limited by a keyboard as I am, I can’t unleash my frothing annoyance appropriately at what I’ve dealt with. It’s the middle of the night and this friendly little girl is at the mercy of snakes, spiders, kangaroos, emus, and especially snakes all alone. Next door’s lights were on so maybe they took her back inside later I don’t fucking know!

I cannot stress enough how many dangerous snakes we get here. It’s so bad that last time I played Pokemon GO it kept spawning Ekans and I’m like “this tracks”.

I’m starting to think this is no longer a question of legality. Seeing a roaming cat at 11:30PM with at least two laws broken, I definitely have moral grounds to catch her (and maybe her kids) and maybe I’ve got legal grounds as well. At what point is it animal neglect? I don’t know but emotion keeps winning out over logic and I’m going crazy every time I see this colony-in-the-making.

]]>https://brandmu.day/post/27544https://brandmu.day/post/27544Mon, 22 Sep 2025 00:43:16 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Real Life Struggles/Support/Vent on Mon, 25 Aug 2025 04:41:24 GMT]]>@dvoraen If you’ve got good health coverage, see a podiatrist about it. If you don’t. Well, if you were local to me I’d let to swab your foot and play with the microscope to see if you’ve a fungal infection, which is a possible cause with OtC treatments available. Might wash them with cholorhexidine and put athelete’s footcream on 'em, and try to avoid wearing shoes and socks as much as possible.

]]>https://brandmu.day/post/27030https://brandmu.day/post/27030Mon, 25 Aug 2025 04:41:24 GMT