Seriously though. Thank you for that reminder. It is very much appreciated.

Just because you think you know better doesn’t mean you’ll always listen to the red flags.

If I make a little light fun of the idea of listening to a flag, it’s only because your post made me feel things that I needed to find a way to laugh at. Thank you for these reminders, though, seriously.

Just because you’re an adult doesn’t mean you can’t be victimized. Just because you think you know better doesn’t mean you’ll always listen to the red flags. Just because you’ve handled shit before with grace doesn’t mean you always will. Just because everyone in a community says ‘oh man, so-and-so is such a good dude, you should ask him for advice/insight/resources/whatever’ doesn’t mean he can be trusted or he’s without flaws, or that if he sends you an unsolicited dick video that ‘you should be flattered’. It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t speak up or no one will believe you. And just because you flirted back because ‘really, everyone says he’s such a great guy/leader/whatever, the problem has to be me’, doesn’t mean you were not victimized, or that your feelings about being victimized are not valid.

I don’t know if this is the right place to put this, but I hope it reaches the people that need to see it. We have got to stop blaming ourselves for other people’s shitty behavior.

I’ve often had an overly rosy view of that place which I may have shared with you on occasion later on other games, and now that I realize how oblivious I was, I feel awful. I’ve been out of the hobby a long time, but I’ve always liked roleplaying with you when we’ve come across each other over the years. So, I felt compelled to say thank you for your courage and screw LAMush. And thanks for making the scene a safer place.

@somasatori said in Predators and Roleplaying Communities:

technically in industrial psychology the company is the client and the workers are child clients of the company

The ethics organ in my brain (probably the amygdala) just squirmed at that…

YEAH! I remember when I first learned that. Also, in forensic psychology the employer (prison or district) is the client, not the prisoner/parolee, so there is no ethical requirement to privacy for prisoners. It’s why I did a trauma emphasis instead of a forensic emphasis.

(Also I veered us wildly off topic, sorry about that!)

technically in industrial psychology the company is the client and the workers are child clients of the company

The ethics organ in my brain (probably the amygdala) just squirmed at that…

TalkSpace has you do a short assessment with someone who will match you with a therapist, so it’s a little more hands-on. They also will work with insurance. I can’t remember if BetterHelp works with insurance or not. TimelyCare is something my university offers to undergrads through post-docs, but I think they have an alumni program, so if you went to college and still have your .edu email address, you might be able to find some resources through your alma mater. A lot of therapy apps are doing work with corporations as well, which gets a little dicey in terms of what you might feel comfortable sharing (technically in industrial psychology the company is the client and the workers are child clients of the company).

Anyway, all that to say that there is a lot of help out there. Despite that it is hard to find someone, especially someone with whom you really connect. And sometimes if you do, it’s often prohibitively expensive. In any case, I hope you find someone!

https://www.theverge.com/2023/3/2/23622227/betterhelp-customer-data-advertising-privacy-facebook-snapchat

I actually abandoned the therapy providers through my VERY good insurance because I NEEDED more than they could give. My anxiety, even medicated, was getting really bad. I finally signed up for BetterHelp and used a therapist for a few sessions and didnt click. Switched and used someone that fit me better for months. When summer came around I stalled out and canceled for a few months. The moment I started crying daily at school again I realized I needed it. For the last year I’ve met weekly/Bi-weekly with my therapist. 85% of the time I just talk, and other times she asks questions that make me think.

The flexibility to do video calls is a life saver. I can’t recommend it enough. (Also, it is more helpful now that I don’t have to take the time to drive or have the anxiety of being in-person either.)

And my pets can join me on the call. So if I’m feeling extra vulnerable I grab a kitty and snuggle it while we talk. Sometimes her dog jumps on camera. (Only allowed once I asked to see puppy and she saw how happy it made me). All around 100000% lovely.

Yes, I pay out of pocket, but it is worth it.

Additionally, most outpatient therapists don’t use instruments to track progress. In inpatient (and at my current intensive outpatient place) we use various metrics – typically the GAD-7, PHQ-9 or BDI, and PCL-5 – to evaluate for anxiety, depression, or trauma symptoms respectively on a weekly basis. The return rate in inpatient and IOP is pretty low, probably natively around 40% at the VA, and we get about a 60-ish% return rate where I am now, so it’s a lot of hounding people “did you fill out the weekly form? Don’t forget to fill out the form” because it’s often a requirement by insurance companies.

In California, we have the mental health parity act, which is generally a good thing as it prevents therapists (or “coaches” in the worst case scenario) from practicing non-evidence based treatment. However, it also allows insurance companies to say “you’re going to use CBT for this patient.” Even if you’re working with, say, a person who has bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder and would better serve them by using DBT or (maybe) acceptance and commitment therapy, the insurance companies know that CBT has a wife body of literature showing it to be effective insofar as it becomes a shotgun approach to treatment. CBT is effective for many things; CBT is also very ineffective for many things. CBT has an added benefit for the money people of having between 12-16 sessions for clinically significant change (with specific illnesses).

Research backs up the use of CBT as well. Depression and anxiety are also the most common mental illnesses in the US (probably the West in general), and usually receive the lion’s share of attention by researchers, who will typically use CBT because it’s quick to implement and fairly easy to learn, which means we have a research corpus that includes so much research on the effectiveness of CBT and a lot of papers that have to reiterate that ACT, DBT, CPT, TLDP, AEDP, other alphabet soup acronyms, etc. are as effective if not moreso than CBT in specific situations and within cultures. I didn’t touch on culture, but that’s just another big blind spot in the field.

None of this is intended to be an excuse, but a remonstration of the American medical and mental health system. All of this sucks and we’re aware.

$200 for an initial consultation, $150 for every follow up appointment, probably just paying straight out of pocket with no hope of insurance covering anything because they’d like me to use someone “in network” who doesn’t do in-office hours and isn’t a good fit. Sigh.

Not to derail but where the fuck does everyone even get therapists,

Literally asked this question to my psychiatrist when he kept asking if I was in therapy yet during med checks, but also no one in his practice was taking patients. Like, I know I need therapy, dude, but HOW DO?!

The only reason I got to him was because they had a new psychologist willing to do my ADHD assessment. And now I’m not medicated because the adderall shortages made me realize it wasn’t quite right for me anyway, but he won’t try anything else, apparently, so I don’t even talk to him anymore, either.

Never mind that the whole system seems to be actively set up to be as inaccessible as possible. Don’t forget to make all these phone calls and set up more appointments and follow up with us because we will literally never follow up with you, person who has no short term memory and chronically dissociates rather than using the phone.

I’m fine.

I had an experience with an emotionally abusive person in MU** rp who used to threaten to kill herself at me when I was high school age. It’s been so long, though, that I don’t even remember how I separated myself. I think I just eventually drifted off that game and stopped interacting with her but not in any concrete, on purpose way.

@somasatori said in Predators and Roleplaying Communities:

I’m all but dissertation in my PhD

So you’re also seeing a trauma therapist, right?

Seeing someone who specializes in trauma while still having to meet with my advisor, so not a ton of progress on that front.

I’m all but dissertation in my PhD

So you’re also seeing a trauma therapist, right?