@Pavel I dunno, you gotta do something pretty heinous with a pattern of behavior that suggests you’re not going to ever learn to get on that list.

Like constantly leaving the toilet seat up or not putting your shopping cart away.

What about consistently asking my teenager to do a chore that they’re clearly in the process of doing causing them to have the natural reaction of “ugh, well I can’t do it now that you’ve asked me”?

Like constantly leaving the toilet seat up or not putting your shopping cart away.

Look, if my bare ass has touched cold toilet water at 3am, all bets are off.

Like constantly leaving the toilet seat up or not putting your shopping cart away.

I explicitly told this “new” player when they asked me about the damn shared tattoo our characters had that I would prefer to not roleplay that due to my issues with the previous player. So they KNEW how I felt about them and pretended to be oh so sympathetic to my problems. You know what, whatever. But the fact that in a private scene, they ASKED my NPC questions about an Apos-NPC unprompted - lore questions about him, how my char felt about him, etc - unprompted and is now lying about trying to “keep her distance” from him is galling. Worse than that are the people who believe this bullshit. Ugh. I hope to never encounter her again but given how insidious she is, that’s a fool’s hope.

ETA: And they framed it as “X told me about this tattoo our chars have, can you tell me about that.” But that could have been bunk too since they were the same fkin player.

I have a list of potential people, a very small list that has four names, but the list does exist, that are banned on sight on my game if I ever discover they are on it.

Can you add my name? Not because I’m evil, I just have no self control and I need to get my assignments done.

ETA: And they framed it as “X told me about this tattoo our chars have, can you tell me about that.” But that could have been bunk too since they were the same fkin player.

If an investigation has proven that these elements are present and are inflicting the kind of emotional damage on my game, you’re banned. Straight up, end of story. There will be no discussion on this, it is a hard line and rule. Granted, that action is only taken once it’s discovered the identity of those responsible. Not going to just ban someone because of an accusation. It’s one of those, ‘if the investigation proves you’re one of these people’ kind of things.

It’s like they literally share a fucking playbook.

She should be subject to the same day-glo biohazard paint job those players have been given, and the same reflexive responses - including banning, even pre-emptive - that they are.

It blows my mind that anybody can argue any differently.

Disclaimer: I’m not intimating anybody here is doing that, because aside from fucking @hobos who has legitimately zero credibility to me from incidents pre-dating that, I’m not seeing that here.

So, say she was involved with a married PC (something that is a-okay in Arx lore and culture) but the PC involved would say something like “I will be going to the following events with my IC spouse” and then she would deliberately set up situations and send long series of messengers trying to argue the boundary and make the situation uncomfortable. I never stepped in in those instances because it looked like the players were handling the IC conflict fine but there was at least once incident done at a public event that made a bunch of others outside the situation uncomfortable.

I 100% was not comfortable and I 100% had a large panic attack and could not log in for weeks afterwards. Not because I was upset over any IC relationships (no jealousy, no drama, no OOC bad feelings /at all/ over), but because I literally felt like I was going insane and it is the worst possible feeling in the world to force yourself to accept something and keep it totally IC when you are being gaslit OOC in extreme ways from the “new” player who is exactly like the old player. I was so mean to myself over this, and I didnt deserve to be as terrible to myself as I was over this whole thing.

Ignoring her attempts at getting under your skin, once she’s turned on you, is the only way to deal with her. That, and keeping as far away from anything she’s doing as possible.

@Herja said in Beware: 'Hella" aka Vulgarkitten aka poMonique@arx:

Just to reiterate, the issue with Hella isn’t the TS. It’s that she is manipulative and boundary pushing in very toxic and creepy ways.

Right. I only compare it to that person I ran afoul of someone who had never met me and just paged me out of nowhere with the weirdest, ugliest TS requests I can imagine. From what you said about her initiating contact, I got a similar vibe; but it sounds like I was wrong. Thanks for sharing that.

It’s actually a lot more insidious than this. Randomly contacting people for sexual interaction is weird and creepy, but it’s also not something that’s going to ‘fool’ you.

This player wants closeness. They want the ability to manipulate. They will act however they have to, lie about whatever they have to, to be in that position to manipulate.

Just to reiterate, the issue with Hella isn’t the TS. It’s that she is manipulative and boundary pushing in very toxic and creepy ways.

Right. I only compare it to that person I ran afoul of someone who had never met me and just paged me out of nowhere with the weirdest, ugliest TS requests I can imagine. From what you said about her initiating contact, I got a similar vibe; but it sounds like I was wrong. Thanks for sharing that.